UNCHANGEABLE

Trying so hard to be that ideal girl but for some reasons you remain a simple no deal.
Putting up an album of a dark past with a hope to justify your wrong acts.
Referring your flaws to your horrors.
Making up stories of a desired you, just so that little ego of yours doesn't stop being admired.
Speaking against your type with so much aggression because you hate to accept your attribution.


But that is who you are..
A girl who only laments but never repents
A girl who knows right but sticks to wrong in the name of being strong.
A girl who mentally battles with the being good or bad with a clear choice of being bad
A girl who sheds tears to cover fears!
A girl as cunny as a fox who claims to be your rock


You can be who you desire to be...
But first, be you.
Accept you.
Love you.
Enjoy you.


Nothing bad in being bad, nothing wrong in being wrong.
Nothing good in being good, nothing right in being right.
What's bad is to be in denial of any, either right or wrong.


There are stages in life. Go through them gradually.
It is one thing to be aware of the right thing to do and another to actually do it right.

Just don't fight the process...

What Makes Me Special?

I am special and I know it.

So, either you or anyone swallows that, the status remains the same- That special girl.

Beautiful and smart is gold; Smart is silver and Beautiful is bronze- I have gold.

Personality as peaceful and transparent as that new mirror sitting behind my cupboard.

The presence of me as still and gentle as the blue sea with the bright sun wearing a cap over our heads.

Every of my words just right for the perfect occasion; to cheer, to comfort, to love, to hurt and to make peace.

My tongue as sharp as a blade, cruel as a polar bear, just when my emotions are bitten.

But,

Freely I give myself to that person that my heart points a finger at saying “awesome”.

Who can blame a heart hungry to love and be loved- only the devil.

In the end,

Should my heart be wrong?

If I get hurt

Or should it not have been what I was searching for?

I’d do something as simple as resume searching

Gather my horns and never forget my strings to strike the cord.

Eyes so sharp, antenna’s so active the signals come in strong.

Ready to breathe new air and create new waves.

It definitely hurts,

That it won’t be you I’d be kissing all night long

Your body nicely grinding against mine would all be memories

The fizzling I get when you whisper “do you like it” would be some other sexy guy all up in my bed

Telling me, “how do you like it” “Do you like it this way… or that way… or- “

My genuine happiness won’t be for you anymore but for him that understood what I felt for him wasn’t ordinary.

For him that cherished my smiles, complaints, openness and my moments.

For him that was proud to flaunt me to the whole world.

He is proud to have me just while you weren’t.

He understood my love needs and that’s why he had me.

It was nice to have met you.

WHO I AM TODAY IS BECAUSE I STRUGGLED TO BE ME.

One thing you should never forget about today's write-up is the fact that "Regardless of any human being, you are You"

Everyday, we hear just about how much of a necessity it is to love yourself because it isn't just about who will love you. Trust me, some guys love "anything" but the point is, who will love you just enough? No one ever truly loves you like the way God will.

No one is going to argue that with me I hope because then I would have to call down my God for such individual. Lol

Okay Guys, so today ' talk is about the  Crazy Debby and her hilarious Job Interview. She's here again  I can't assure you it is the last time but...


I LOVE ME,
Simply fascinated by what I have become,
Many times I look stupid to anyone I tell my pain because of how much smile I wear everyday. But that's the fun about being a Debby.

I love me for my scars and my pain.
I love me for being that Softie, for being weak and strong at the same time.
I love me for times I cry and sob silently, chewing my aches and baring my lonely nights.

I love me for loving and caring for the wrong people that I hoped were mine forever.

I love me for my heart breaks, the disappointments and the setbacks.

I love me for the blades that marked my skin and the blood that gently poured out.

For picking up the broken pieces of my heart and making a sweet melody out of it was the most beautiful thing I ever did.

That I was cold, hard and numb at some point for reasons that were overwhelming caused me to be scared to heal, be whole and love again.

But despite everything,

I love me for desiring true love and for believing in it.

I love me for rising above rape and abuse, a story for another day...
I love me for the times memories terrified me, the times I wasn't tough enough to stand on my own.

I love me for the times that I needed to lean on someone, the times that I needed a warm hug and a pat on my back but got none but yet my life did go on.

I love me for my slow songs and deep lyrics.

I, at some point became that emotional "thing", who all she ever wanted was a short-brief kiss on her forehead but got only another reason to grief.

Regardless, I love me for my sensational poems.

I love me for my big heart and the part of me that people took for granted.

I love me for yet easily falling deeply and caring while bracing my hurt.

Oooooooh Yeah!
One thing I'm crazy about? My  Body!
I love me for my body, and for the sides of me I wasn't much comfortable with.

I love me for my changes, my pretty eyes and soft lips.

I love me for my cute big forehead and my not so beautiful feet. lol Cheers to my forehead and that little feet!

I love for me for me why?
Because all of this including my mistakes made me sour cream, amazing, special and a little bit more human than the rest to the world.

For I am a beautiful soul, showcased in an amazing body and guarded by a wonderful spirit.

I AM ME AND NO ONE ELSE.

WRITTEN BY: Deborah Erakpor
EDITRD BY: Jessy Deremi

AND SO WE PART WAYS...

I was told it was dangerous to love but above all more dangerous to be in love.

I fell like a baby born to fall and without regrets I soiled in it.

I had never felt a better joy or a happier moment. It was like a moment of fulfillment.

I was warned against things that looked too real to be true that they just might be mere wishes, but I wasn’t listening and so I fell deeply into his coven.

I tried to pull myself out or even find a rescue hand but the more I tried the more I died inside of me.

Ejecting what I thought completed me was my worst nightmare.

How couldn’t he want me anymore? Wasn’t I enough or was I not just good enough. He used to call me his Everything until I became nothing of value to him.

But where did I miss it? And where did I go wrong? He was the symbol of love in my heart.

I thought if loving less was a risk to losing him, then loving more would have been a way to keep him forever.

But I said- If you ever stop loving me just tell me and let me go. I lost control of everything the day reality was born.

What is reality? Does it really exist?

I have asked myself so many times what exists and what doesn’t exist. And I realized that I exist. My thoughts are real, my feelings are true and my life is a miracle. In my existence, I found the truth behind reality.

Reality like my mind tells me is not what I think but what is true. And what is true is not about how I feel but how things turn out to be. I am not reality, just as reality is not me. And just as I exist, reality does exist too.

Along the way I understood that I can’t make my reality but I can make my wishes. Reality is what effort, time and consistency can dare to forge but reality is the result of things done yesterday, today, tomorrow or the day after.

I may have wished us a forever but reality says; today, we part ways and so our story ends here…

YOU MADE ME TASTE THE DISTANCE

When you told me you had to go, I asked myself " does this always have to happen to me?"

Do I at some point have to feel this ache of letting go or what really is my issue? You don't let me do enough for you and it makes me feel like you don't really want much from me. 

Maybe no one ever expects much from me but I had hoped you'd be different.

No one sees their importance through my eyes but how about my actions are they blind too?

But for how much I am ready to sacrifice anything for you, do you not see it?

A day without you is like a day without the sun.
It's like a torment to my life.
It is a soak of sorrow to my heart.

You'd be gone a week and when you return I hope you wont go again.
This one time, I'd manage.
This one time, I'd endure.

It doesn't look like I can because humanly I can't.
But I'd cope.

SO, I'D WAIT...

You can't control both the good and bad things that happens in life but you van control how you take it. Being away from someone who you care so much about is quite painful but sometimes there is little we can do about it. But one lesson I have learned from this is, if you cant do without somebody for a few days, you should try to keep them forever. "Protect them so much that even sickness won't snatch them away from you" 

Who have you missed so much? Share with us your story :)

THE THING ABOUT LOVE

Hey guys!

I know I should be punished for such long vacation I granted myself that kept me away from writing to you and I apologize.

My job hunt wasn’t a joke at all because I had searched till I almost gave up at least not my ghost.

So here I am again with my talk about love!!!

And so, there is a story about some guy that I fell in love with. Yes, still very much in love with.

I was afraid to scare him away with all my needs. I am referring to every girls’ regular needs you know; emotional needs, material needs (yes! I need to keep looking sexy) insecurity needs and many more. From my past relationships, I had carried so much burden and I wondered how he was going to cope. I was afraid that before I get to heal he would’ve taken the back door. Unknowingly he had sworn to himself to make things work.

I didn’t think I deserved it, but I knew it’d be worth it.

One thing I want you to always remember is that, “when someone loves you, they’d do anything.”

And something I’ve realized in this journey with him is that “love makes you capable of handling anything.”

He was ready to handle everything, he was going to work day and night if that was what it took to make me happy.

He was ready and I was ready and that’s just about what it takes. If erasing all my needs would keep us in love I was ready to do that.

My word to you today is that; If you ever truly love somebody just go ahead and be with them because every other thing will fall in place.

It definitely will.

Money isn’t love. Love will cause you to work hard and earn money.

LET PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES

I am ashamed of you.

Your quietness on me had my hopes high that you knew indeed that I was in control of this but until the day you let loose your lips you blew off my confidence in what you understand about me.

Maturity isn't by age, for a good age is only but two figures. Many wise men didn't make three figures, so no matter how much knowledge you've got, it doesn't just depend on your age but your experiences... 

It's saddening but not so surprising that you know not an inch about me. It's only because I have refused to let you know me. 

Still, I'm not convinced to let you know. 

But I'd like you to know that I'm not in danger and not endangered. Silly opportunity you had to witness my mess doesn't give you right to sail my boat. 

I paddled it all along and I still can.

Don't forget.

Days when I had to lie to cover you up to catch your fun, I did.

I never for once thought I had to cry out for help on your becoming.

Well in defense, you could choose to say you never had it this worse. But to who does man tell everything to but God?

I let you do your things and make your mistakes which has earned you your wisdom. 

I beg you.

Let me be.

Sometimes, people should be allowed to makes their own mistakes and ruin their lives if they so want to. It wont be your wrong to let them be. Everyone deserves a right to own their lives.

ENVIED.

I AM NOT YOUR STRESS

It is quite amazing that I am worth your thoughts and worries...

I am just this girl with a simple goal to be happy in life, what more can I ask for?

My life hasn't  exactly been rosy as you overthink it; I thought I should say.

It will be pathetic to want my "tight shoes" when I pray daily for a new one.

I honestly live a life of content in myself and not what I posses.

Because my mum taught me the power of contentment that which will never erase from my heart.

It is so frustrating to feel less of yourself, so why torture yourself?

What harm has being "you" caused you?

Even when I have nothing; you still consider me as everything but nevertheless, I'm glad.

The interesting thing about your hate towards me is that now I am certain I have a bright star above my head that I cant see. I'm happy you're the tool for my own vision but please don't get stuck as a tool.

I am sure I am another persons tool, with my undeniable love and appreciation to how they look, they speak, they walk, they eat, they pray. Just everything.

But I am not the Devil to plot such a beautiful life for a downfall.

I am not his incarnate.

I am a disciple of; Love and not hate
                              Progress and not setback
                              Happiness and not sadness

I am here to see everyone rise above their limits.

So please darling don't wish me bad. I want you to be happy too.

I'm sure there is a uniqueness inside of you.

Find it.

I will give anything up for you.

LOVE: A new birth

I can no longer explain who I am.

I have lost me to another and now I believe in change.

I had found peace when I found love in you.

Peace and love where my pursuits but then I realized there was more to want.

More to need.

Something more than love that I craved.

I wanted a family, a home to call my own; I craved the extension of my love.

If you could give me, you would have.

If you could turn back the hands of time you wouldn’t hesitate.

If you could keep me forever, you’d be the happiest man.

Then I think one more time; should I stick on?

Maybe this is my own destiny?

Maybe I was born cheated?

Could my life possibly have  been created to this norm or am I just my problem?

Was I designed to share and be enveloped in jealousy?

What is my wrong to want the one that I love and make him my own.

I just want to be here for him

I want to be his everything; I want to be his heart desire.

I want to make love to him with every part of my body that can feel.

I want to be inside of him.

There, I will watch time stop.

My fantasies are just mine and not his.

From day one, he knew the last chapter.

He knew he would say those words… “you need to move on”

He knew everything and I knew nothing but one wish…

Regardless, he dished out those words in his actions as he watched me fall on my knees day and night seeking a first chance.

He said “give me time” and as I watched time while, I had grown to love another.

To Be Continued..

THE REJECTED

If only the world could see the imprints of my heart.

If only anyone can at least taste the genuineness of my love.

There is nothing more that I desire than to be appreciated.

The color of my love is like a true rainbow.

My word to you; I will never fail you

Even if I could, what will be my joy?

Your pain which is my sorrow or your broken heart which will be my end?

All I deeply desire is you to want me the way I want you.

Feel the kiss I give to you like the breath that gives you life.

Hold me like I’m your rock because till eternity I will be your hero.

Your heart is safe with me, I’m not sure of anyone else.

But if you choose someone else…

I will hurt

I will turn cold

I won’t be me anymore

But truth is, I may not be what you want.

Of which I can’t blame you.

Despite my all, it just may not be what you want but you will find it.

Sadly, I have to face rejection which is my greatest fear.

But surely my heart will thirst for love that will live forever.

I LIVED TO TELL MY STORY

i feel alive, i feel free.

From the very moment when I let you in; I let you win and I made you sin.

Irredeemably drunk, I couldn't think…

…Too weak to blink so I gave in because of my clique.

I let you kiss me and take my breath away.

Slightly opening my eyes to admire you once again; you were already gone.

Just far too gone!

It pains me that you couldn't spare me one last moment.

One moment that I could cherish.

Truth is,

It was really never your fault; I was your one night stand.

But why I was, I couldn't understand.    

I couldn't explain further how much I wanted you just so my nights don’t get longer.

So what I did was build blocks of faith around your special spot in my heart that I’d get over you.

Well… I did live to tell my story.

Didn't i?

The further you endure a pain that seems so unbearable is the longer it takes for you to heal. The longer it takes for you to get over it.

THE CURSED CENTURY

This is the lifetime where anger and pride rules our lives

 Where envy and jealousy overshadows the love in our hearts.

In this century, our 21^st century, the young are attracted to the old

The rich runs from the poor.

Men love their wives but somehow finds a way not to love them completely with their acts of infidelity.

This same century? Oh yes!

This same century, we hate pain but we embrace it with our hands open and our eyes wide awake.

In several relationships today, the hard choice is in fact not loving or giving your everything to whom you love. The hardest part is letting go.

Letting go off what we already know brings us hurt, pain and tears but we rather hold on tight, so tight until we are damaged.

In this silly century;

We hold grudges against another for their act of kindness and maybe a little more progress they make. We just never want to be happy to see a brother make money and spend it at will.

Oh century!

Can it get any worse?

I am scared to say “you are my friend”

Because the very moment I fall asleep to wake in few seconds after, I see you amidst my enemies, whining and dinning.

I came alone to this world; I will eat alone, drink alone, pray alone, succeed alone and die alone.

                                    T.H.I.S     2.1   C. E. N. T. U. R. Y

Totally filled with sadness and without shame.

This century did make sadness but did not partake in the sadness but let the ones born in its period wallow in it.

Every woman is my enemy if I cannot call her my sister because someday, she could be lying in my bed with my husband and bear him kids and watch him torment me.

Every man is my enemy if I cannot call him my brother because someday, he could introduce my husband to another woman as good or less good than I am and yet tell me to my face how much my husband loves me.

In this century may no man mock me because of my skill of ignorance which bears trust for whom I would love.

May this century not ruin my hope for a happy ever after.

CLEMENT

This bad girl would fall someday
Falling into the warm hands of a generous man
Everything would appear alright as it is...
Sweet, slow and perfect just the way she wants it
His touch would be as gentle as the still waters
Tender and suites her skin

The flavor of his whispers tickles her urge
His justice brings her satisfaction
And so her urge wont stop being rude
Oh how he gazes...
Let her, just let her into his presence

This feeling steals the first moment
sShe will hunger for it at the tail end
By then it would almost end

And she will say "enjoy this moment"
                    "prepare for the torment"
But never forget his name "Clement"

 +Funny videos - enjoy this moment

BEING BLACK... BECAUSE I'M BLACK

Being black, I'm a looter

when I'm trying to survive

Being Black, I'm a murderer

while the white boy is psychologically disturbed

Being Black, I'm not beautiful

Rather I am an associate of violence

Being Black, I am never obedient to the police

I always refuse to comply

Being Black, I am the scape goat for the police to torture

Even when I have committed no crime

Being Black, I am never right

My opinions don't matter

Being Black, I should swallow any unfair treatments

Because the judge wont hear my story

Being Black, I have no rights, I am no human


BUT BEING BLACK

My opinions are as important as the white boys'

I am not ugly and I'm not a looter!

I am not a murderer did the police accuse me so?

I am not violent! I am not violent!

So why should I be the polices' target?

I should have equal rights same as the white boys'

I am Black, and I am human.

I should voice out threats and I should be heard.

I should not just be tortured

But my opinions don't matter...

I can't change me

so,

STILL I REMAIN BLACK


BY: OLADIMEJI DOYIN

EDITED BY: JESSY DEREMI

THE ANGEL YOU'RE NOT

You must have thought within yourself that you are everybody's own and everybody's desire.
You are just a sad piece without peace hungry for others joy.
You are full of deceit I wonder why I couldn't resist.
You are a disgust with so much gut!

You smile with a hope but with a heart of a slope
You caress and light my distress you then fling me off my fortress
You turn everyone I love against me for your'e that devil I would never love.

I'll never love, never ever love.
I saw you as my Angel. A person who could understand my dilemma but instead you flaunt me in the cinema for everyone to watch.

I wouldn't blame you.
You are not an Angel

I LOVE HER

I want you so bad

I want to tell her much that I want to be with her.
I want to say to her how much I think about her .
I want to show her what I feel for her.

She's so tough and wouldn't sigh me.
She's so confident and that intimidates me.
She's so opinionated my words wont count.

How can I express this depressing emotion?
How can I let her understand my heart wont go on?
How can I be okay without her?

I'm lost in my own fantasy.
I'm drowning in my own tears.
I'm ashamed of myself.

I love how courageous you are
I love how you gaze
I love your self image

And if all these things I love scares me away from you, then I simply love you from afar.

I'M SORRY