The Cost of Unfaithfulness

I have been through a thousand years, a thousand times and ten thousand heart breaks in my lifetime.

From the very moment, my best friend and I graduated from high school and had to split for understandable reasons to the moment my friends did better than me at homework because I wasn’t all that geeky, down to the very moment I met him, all I ever wanted was honesty.

Things do happen and I understand.

Bella and I had to split because I couldn’t afford the school her parents wanted for her. I scored 2/10 all the time just because I rather write love poems than stay up doing homework. He didn’t want me anymore without a reason but an action.

He said- “it’s over”

Bella broke my heart when it was certain we couldn’t continue for 4 years after 6 years together. My playmates at school got me jealous with their excellent scores and every hand giving thumbs up.

For if he had grown to love someone else, or he had feelings for another girl, or maybe he saw something better for him, I could have understood. If I wasn’t what he wanted anymore, if I wasn’t just enough for him he should have told me. My option was to let him go and be happy and I’d be. I would have tried so hard to win him and if I failed I would help him pack his bags to be where his heart belongs because then I wouldn’t deserve a man who doesn’t want me.

My options were snatched the day death came knocking at his door.

Very silently at night, it barged on him.

I can imagine his fear… I can hear him screaming so loud I wish I was by his side that night. I wish we didn’t argue, I wish we didn’t go to bed angry, I wish I hadn’t said it was over between us.

Because I only felt saying those words will hurt him and cause him to say He loves me and won’t leave me. But my words had the devil escort him home. To tempt him in the middle of the night just before morning when I would get a chance to say “I didn’t mean any of what I Said last night”

The devil told him, I had grown to love someone else and that I saw someone better for me. The devil also mentioned that he wasn’t enough for me and would never be and so he decided to go and be where there is peace and love - HEAVEN.

All I ever wanted was honesty? Damn me!

He needed my honesty and I fed him his doubt.

Ever since then, my eyes always told stories that my mouth could never narrate.

I since then, lived in fear, coldness and loneliness. Ran away from home when his parents came looking for me after they found the note he left saying-

“Sonia Riman, I loved you and I never stopped”

                                                                                THE END