ENVIED.

I AM NOT YOUR STRESS

It is quite amazing that I am worth your thoughts and worries...

I am just this girl with a simple goal to be happy in life, what more can I ask for?

My life hasn't  exactly been rosy as you overthink it; I thought I should say.

It will be pathetic to want my "tight shoes" when I pray daily for a new one.

I honestly live a life of content in myself and not what I posses.

Because my mum taught me the power of contentment that which will never erase from my heart.

It is so frustrating to feel less of yourself, so why torture yourself?

What harm has being "you" caused you?

Even when I have nothing; you still consider me as everything but nevertheless, I'm glad.

The interesting thing about your hate towards me is that now I am certain I have a bright star above my head that I cant see. I'm happy you're the tool for my own vision but please don't get stuck as a tool.

I am sure I am another persons tool, with my undeniable love and appreciation to how they look, they speak, they walk, they eat, they pray. Just everything.

But I am not the Devil to plot such a beautiful life for a downfall.

I am not his incarnate.

I am a disciple of; Love and not hate
                              Progress and not setback
                              Happiness and not sadness

I am here to see everyone rise above their limits.

So please darling don't wish me bad. I want you to be happy too.

I'm sure there is a uniqueness inside of you.

Find it.

I will give anything up for you.

LOVE: A new birth

I can no longer explain who I am.

I have lost me to another and now I believe in change.

I had found peace when I found love in you.

Peace and love where my pursuits but then I realized there was more to want.

More to need.

Something more than love that I craved.

I wanted a family, a home to call my own; I craved the extension of my love.

If you could give me, you would have.

If you could turn back the hands of time you wouldn’t hesitate.

If you could keep me forever, you’d be the happiest man.

Then I think one more time; should I stick on?

Maybe this is my own destiny?

Maybe I was born cheated?

Could my life possibly have  been created to this norm or am I just my problem?

Was I designed to share and be enveloped in jealousy?

What is my wrong to want the one that I love and make him my own.

I just want to be here for him

I want to be his everything; I want to be his heart desire.

I want to make love to him with every part of my body that can feel.

I want to be inside of him.

There, I will watch time stop.

My fantasies are just mine and not his.

From day one, he knew the last chapter.

He knew he would say those words… “you need to move on”

He knew everything and I knew nothing but one wish…

Regardless, he dished out those words in his actions as he watched me fall on my knees day and night seeking a first chance.

He said “give me time” and as I watched time while, I had grown to love another.

To Be Continued..

THE REJECTED

If only the world could see the imprints of my heart.

If only anyone can at least taste the genuineness of my love.

There is nothing more that I desire than to be appreciated.

The color of my love is like a true rainbow.

My word to you; I will never fail you

Even if I could, what will be my joy?

Your pain which is my sorrow or your broken heart which will be my end?

All I deeply desire is you to want me the way I want you.

Feel the kiss I give to you like the breath that gives you life.

Hold me like I’m your rock because till eternity I will be your hero.

Your heart is safe with me, I’m not sure of anyone else.

But if you choose someone else…

I will hurt

I will turn cold

I won’t be me anymore

But truth is, I may not be what you want.

Of which I can’t blame you.

Despite my all, it just may not be what you want but you will find it.

Sadly, I have to face rejection which is my greatest fear.

But surely my heart will thirst for love that will live forever.